Parenting With Purpose: This I Believe…

by Millionaire Mommy Next Door on May 9, 2009

in About Me,Happiness,Raising Money-Smart Kids,Success Principles

Happy Mother’s Day!

While eagerly waiting for our adoption referral from China, we gave much thought to parenting. How would we raise our daughter to be strong and independent; sensitive and thoughtful; curious and happy?

Obviously, I don’t believe money is the biggest determination of a meaningful and joyful life. Success and happiness come from within, and more importantly, they take practice. How might we help her learn that life’s obstacles are not concrete barriers?

I wrote the following piece over four years ago; before we brought our daughter home. Like a business plan, it helps steer my actions in ways that I feel will result in success – for me as a parent, and for my daughter as a healthy, happy and contributing member of society. I think of it as my parental mission statement.

Our daughter turned four last week. I am pleased to report that she is blossoming into an affectionate, assertive, confident, and insightful little gal.  She makes this momma very, very proud.

Parenting With Purpose: This I Believe…

It isn’t about expecting or demanding obedience and conformity. It is about encouraging discipline, personal autonomy and individuality.

It isn’t about respecting authority. It is about respecting one another.

It isn’t about rules. It is about principles.

It isn’t about being quiet, not crying, and stuffing feelings. It’s about recognizing and appreciating the full range of human experience.

It isn’t about making my child do what’s good for her. It is about working with my child to help her learn to make the best choices.

It isn’t about teaching her how to live life to the fullest. It is about living life to the fullest while learning happens naturally.

It isn’t about blindly following directions. It is about following dreams, interests, and passions mapped out by child and parents together in a loving relationship built on mutual respect.

It isn’t about giving my child everything she wants, risking a false sense of entitlement. It is about helping her get what she wants through her own efforts.

It isn’t about spanking. It is about teaching her that aggression is never an appropriate way to resolve conflicts.

It isn’t about parents being martyrs. It is about parents modeling healthy personal boundaries.

It isn’t about “because I said so”. It is about open communication and the art of compromise.

And finally,
It is all about love.

{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }

Caroline May 10, 2009 at 3:07 am

Great post and I love the beautiful photos of you & your daughter together =)

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Michelle May 10, 2009 at 9:42 am

You two are so beautiful together! And I love your “parenting manifesto”, I think I will keep it in mind for possible future kids.

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Eric May 10, 2009 at 10:44 am

Congrats on having such a joy in your life. Happy Mother’s Day.

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Laura @ move to portugal May 10, 2009 at 12:25 pm

Lovely post, lovely photo. Happy Mother’s Day

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Kim May 10, 2009 at 10:38 pm

I love your blog! Do you recommend any specific adoption agencies for adoption from China? I’m in California.

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amanda May 12, 2009 at 2:42 pm

LOve this! and…thank you! :-)

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Millionaire Mommy Next Door May 13, 2009 at 8:38 pm

Kim, CCAI out of Denver is probably the largest China adoption agency. I understand the wait for child match referrals are 3 yrs out right now, though. That’s a long time to wait! They’ve recently started a Haiti program, too.

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David Stillwagon May 14, 2009 at 9:26 pm

What a wonderful post! Your daughter is a real cutie!

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dolores April 26, 2010 at 9:14 pm

I totally raised my children and took foster and adopted .I loved what I did helped other ect,what I didn’t plan for was my future just trusted God day to day.My birthday 55 and I still have 2 left at home 14,15.What do you give as advise to do in my future to be more secure.

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